This is a document written using ReMarkable, a shorthand syntax for generating HTML.

{	"date"		:	201107292239,
	"updated"	:	201107292239,
	"licence"	:	"copyright",
	"tags"		:	["eve"]

The following was written by my wife Eve and republished here due to Posterous shutting down.


# Nine Days of Detox #

*As the title suggests, I will be embarking on nine days of detox, starting this Sunday.* I have wanted and needed this for
a long time so when I found out that my man is going away on a week-long-trip, I got right in there and booked some annual
leave. This way I cannot blame anything or anyone for distracting me from my goals. I am fully aware that it will be hard
and likely very painful at times, but the end result(s) should be worth the effort.

:: Decluttering
	Over the last few years, I have amassed a scarily huge amount of possessions. Nine years ago, I came to this
	country with one suitcase. Now, I have masses and masses of stuff. My one-bedroom flat feels tiny, due to being
	cluttered with... junk? treasures? I am not sure what to call it but one thing is certain -- every surface is
	junked up by _stuff_. Every cupboard, every wardrobe, every shelf, every single drawer is full, ready and willing
	to burst at any point.
	I believe this is due to several factors -- I am a hoarder by nature, having watched my mum collect all sorts of
	_stuff_ that 'may come in handy one day', such as boxes, wrapping, random bits of stationery, those paper bags you
	get in large department stores instead of plastic carrier bags, oh and, among other crap things, I mustn't forget
	the... drumroll please... Washing Machine Door (WMD). The WMD incident was quite possibly the most epic fail of my
	mum's hoarding career. The one and only time I attempted to use my mum's washing machine, the door came off and
	remained safely in my hand as I tried to close it. Mum had it replaced but the engineer wouldn't take the old WMD
	away as he couldn't recycle it. He reassured mum it is okay to throw the WMD away, as there honestly is no use
	under the sun for it. However, my mum being my mum, kept the WMD for several years in the closet -- she was hoping
	that, one day, someone may be in need of some amazing object to save the day, and she would then magically fish it
	out and nonchalantly present it to the person in need, and it would be exactly what they needed, and they would be
	grateful to my mum till their dying day... and they lived happily ever after. So for years, the WMD lived in mum's
	closet, was in the way, had to be moved every time mum tried to get to the things she actually _was_ using.
	One day, mum was doing a spring clean (no mean feat when you are a hoarder), and decided to throw the WMD.
	She took it to the bin but was later overcome with remorse and regret, and returned to the bin to -- you guessed it
	-- _retrieve_ it (under the cloak of night, so neighbours wouldn't see her). The WMD lived in the closet for a few
	more weeks, until mum got angry at herself and eventually chucked it (!!!). She was so chuffed with herself for not
	going back for it that she phoned me and we had a little de-brief and an over-the-phone pat on the back. Two months
	later, she came to see me and we visited the Chelsea Flower Show, where there was a display of weird garden
	sculptures made entirely of WMDs. No, I don't think she would like to make a sculpture with the WMD but the sheer
	rage at finding a use for it must have smarted quite a bit. I think mum feels the pang of regret over chucking it
	to this day -- but I am not sure, as the WMD is strictly off-topic. As it must never be mentioned again, I shall
	never know for sure.
	On top of being a natural hoarder, I also have good reasons to be in possession of so many things. As I have gone
	from size 12 to size 22+, I have clothes that vary in size -- actually, I am lying. I have wardrobes full of _every_
	size between 12 and 22. And cupboards. And dressers. And chests of drawers. And storage boxes. `:|`
	The next nine days will be spent decluttering, organising, tidying up, cleaning and sprucing up the place so it
	looks more like a home and less like a charity shop. A 5-foot Christmas tree and 200 baubles, anyone? Yes, I know
	it's July. But Christmas in December is so _mainstream_.

:: Weight loss
	On top of collecting _stuff_, I have also collected a lot of unwanted pounds -- something I have already explained in
	one of my previous posts. What I haven't really explained is my vast knowledge about nutrition. It is a bit of a
	hobby, as most fat people (sorry, I really don't want to call us overweight -- we are _fat_, end of story, no need
	to pretty it up) will readily agree. Some of us know the exact calorie content of every food under the sun, others
	will know everything there is to know about digestion. I don't believe in calories -- never have. But I do find the
	human body fascinating, both how it works, how it gets ill, and how it fuels up through foodstuffs. Isn't it
	amazing how God created all these foods for us which give us optimum nutrition and are a perfect, clean, energy
	source? Even more amazing how we as humans go and corrupt these, process them into something rather different, and
	then get addicted to it, and as a bonus ensure that everyone around us does, too. But that's a different story
	altogether. Don't let me go on a food-rant! EVER!
	I am going to take bits of what I know about food, nutrition, and exercise from different approaches and paste
	these into something that loosely resembles an ecclectic action plan. I will be describing this in more depth,
	later, and will be posting updates of how my plan is being implemented and whether it is working etc, as I go.
	There are a few ways to lose weight safely, and I have tried and tested these before (among all the myriads of ways
	that are either dangerous, or don't work, or both). I will be looking for the common ground and will be using this
	as the basis of my nutrition. The approaches I will be hand-picking from will be juicing, alkaline diet, the 90-day
	food combining diet, and common sense.
:: Fitness
	In terms of exercise, I will be aiming at starting with one hour of exercise per day, to be gradually increased to
	2hrs or more. By exercise I don't mean a leisurely stroll around the shops, but something -- anything -- that
	raises my heartbeat enough to make me sweat. I will be looking at a combination of cardio and weight-training at
	the gym, swimming, rebounding, yoga, and good old gardening/cleaning/housework. I want to look into what Peak 8
	exercise is, but to tell the truth, reading anything to do with exercise bores me to death so this may not happen
	quite so soon.

:: Healthy supplements
	I will be supplementing my diet with various things, from green grass powders through muscle-building supplements,
	vitamins, healty fats, all the way to clay (yes, soil, dirt, mud, whatever you want to call it -- it's great
	stuff!). I will detail these shortly.

:: Water and air
	I am also planning to be on a strict fluids regime, looking at a daily intake of 6 -to- 8 litres of fluids.
	Both my drinking water and the air in my bedroom will be ionized for maximum benefit.

:: Mind and Spirit
	During these nine days, I shall not be wasting my time on mindless crap. Hence I will not be watching telly (I
	don't watch much anyway), I will not be spending hours on facebook or failblog or anything that doesn't contribute
	value to my life in some way. I will read my Bible. I will speak to my friends and loved ones. I will have some
	well-deserved me-time. I will go for a walk with my music. I will have a full-body massage.
	I am a person of extremes, and when I say detox, I mean it in more than one way.

:: Clear aims
	At the end of the nine days, I shall take stock of my achievements and sum it up on here. This way I can always
	come back and have a little read-through for motivation and reminder. The plan, however, is to come away cleansed.
	Cleaner, leaner, stronger body, healthy, focused and uncluttered mind, peaceful spirit, decluttered home, and a
	happy me! And as if all this wasn't reward enough, my lovely man will be back from his trip and we'll hopefully
	enjoy some high quality time together.