A Tongue-in-Cheek Translation of Google’s Announcement to Bundle Flash With Chrome

Nobody dresses up the language in an announcement this much,
unless they’re speaking through gritted teeth.

Adobe Flash Player is the most widely used web browser plug-in. It enables a wide range of applications and content on the Internet, from games, to video, to enterprise apps.

Flash is not our problem, but we have been forced to take action.

The traditional browser plug-in model has enabled tremendous innovation on the web, but it also presents challenges for both plug-ins and browsers. The browser plug-in interface is loosely specified, limited in capability and varies across browsers and operating systems. This can lead to incompatibilities, reduction in performance and some security headaches.

Web standards and browsers almost died completely.

That’s why we are working with Adobe, Mozilla and the broader community to help define the next generation browser plug-in API. This new API aims to address the shortcomings of the current browser plug-in model. There is much to do and we’re eager to get started.

We told Adobe to get their act together. We are not afraid of Mozilla, but begrudge having to constantly point them in the right direction.

As a first step, we’ve begun collaborating with Adobe to improve the Flash Player experience in Google Chrome. Today, we’re making available an initial integration of Flash Player with Chrome in the developer channel. We plan to bring this functionality to all Chrome users as quickly as we can.

We told Adobe to fix their crap or we wouldn’t ship Flash with Chrome OS.

We believe this initiative will help our users in the following ways:

• When users download Chrome, they will also receive the latest version of Adobe Flash Player. There will be no need to install Flash Player separately.

Adobe’s website is a joke, and forcing unwanted downloaders, Firefox extensions and copies of McAfee Security Scan on users is unacceptable.

• Users will automatically receive updates related to Flash Player using Google Chrome’s auto-update mechanism. This eliminates the need to manually download separate updates and reduces the security risk of using outdated versions.

Adobe’s security is as tight as a clown’s pocket.

• With Adobe’s help, we plan to further protect users by extending Chrome’s “sandbox” to web pages with Flash content.

We aim to protect users from Adobe, because they can’t be trusted to get it right.

Improving the traditional browser plug-in model will make it possible for plug-ins to be just as fast, stable, and secure as the browser’s HTML and JavaScript engines. Over time this will enable HTML, Flash, and other plug-ins to be used together more seamlessly in rendering and scripting.

There will always be brain-dead developers in the world who insist on using dead-end technologies like Flash and Silverlight.

These improvements will encourage innovation in both the HTML and plug-in landscapes, improving the web experience for users and developers alike.

Adobe is going to get double-boned by HTML5 / The iPad.