Where I’ve Been

I’m writing this today because I owe it to a number of friends (Clint Franklin, Tanner Helland, Prenuntius) to explain where I've been and why I've been so busy, but it’s proving exceptionally hard to summerise.

When I decided to ditch some computer projects and try focus more on people, I'm glad I did. My friend Prenuntius warned me, being happily married himself, to stay clear of women whilst I had the freedom, envying my ability to ‘just decide’ to play Minecraft all day.

I have grown up having no concept that a girl could actually like me beyond mere acquaintances. I am not a social animal and the depression does not help. So when, out of nowhere, I get talking to a girl and I discover that not only do we get on really well together but that she actually likes me precisely for who I am, I have had my world turned upside down.

Honestly, I was expecting a constant, never-ending, major up-hill struggle. To have to be on the charm offensive all the time. To have the daunting prospect of having to be spontaneously witty and charming and interesting, just to get a girl to turn her nose in my direction. The fact that she likes me exactly as I am has been unnerving. We are very much on the same wavelength. We have the benefit of being able to talk straight and openly and our intentions have been clear from the start: no petty mind games, misdirection and politics. We’re able to talk as if we’ve known each other for years, but neither of us can quite believe that the other didn’t exist in each other’s world a month ago. It’s developed very quickly, but feels more like a mini eternity.

How can I articulate the complex intricacies of thinking nothing when I'm with you?

I haven’t been telling people about her (until now) because of my own fears and reservations. I was worried it wouldn’t work out. I was worried what others might think. I was worrid about a plethora of things I didn’t need to be worried about. This wonderful lady has so rapidly opened my mind up I'm still at a loss as to how to describe her. A privlige, mainly.

She’s not a computer geek (maybe a linguist geek though) but likes that I am. She lives some distance from me so for now I have been travelling to see her on my days off. Whilst travelling is a chore it has meant that we have been able to spend quality time together without distraction. Those worried that this ‘intrusion’ to my life will effectively spell the end to Camen Design should not worry; firstly, Camen Design is a work of inspiration and I haven’t felt more inspired before, and secondly, both of us have busy lives and respect that we each need quality time to ourselves too—shortly I will be posting a project that I’ve been planning for over a month.

I’m sorry, there’s no conclusion to this blog post; love does not have a conclusion.