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Mankind

Tomorrow, I become a man.

I never thought of myself as a man until this point. At 27, it’s not so much that I thought of myself as a “child”, but that I had no good reason to think of myself as a “man”. That word sounded scary and big, it didn’t fit with my life and the way I conducted myself.

Now, I am marrying the woman who was crafted to fit me and whom makes me whole. Only now do I actually feel like a man, because up until this point, my life was being lived selfishly, serving only myself and my needs.

The law may very well consider you an “adult” at the age of 18, and many commercial entities will happily consider you an “adult” at the age of 12. Just because the world calls you an adult, it doesn’t mean that you are. The world defines you as an adult because firstly, there is no other simple-enough measurement of maturity, and secondly, because it wants to sell to you. Oh, how it wants to sell crap to you.

Let me tell you now that if you are sixteen years old, even eighteen years old, you are not an adult. You might very well think you are. Legally you are, you can even do adult-like things that make it appear that you are an adult. This is all a ruse for the sole purpose of making you a consumer, because nothing that will be sold to you is going to teach you how to be a responsible, mature person—especially one that loves another. Consumerism does not increase one’s love for others.

If you are in your late twenties now and you don’t think that you were an idiot when you were sixteen, that’s because you are still that idiot.

In no way do I believe that I was an adult when I was 16. I was an idiot. I was an uncontrollable, depressed, mentally ill, selfish egotist with a penchant for doing what I wanted to do and nothing else. I would not now trust my 16-year-old self to any task, let alone call him a responsible “adult”.

One only becomes an adult because either they go through hardships that force them to learn how to be responsible for others, or because you begin living your life for the love of others.

The woman I am to marry—she had never thought of herself as a “woman” until this point either—has transformed my life and put into perspective that which I already knew was important but that I had no good motivation or willpower on my own to do so. I would have starved myself to death because I was too anxious to lift my hand from the bowl to my mouth if it were not for her in my life.

Equality in law for men and women is absolutely necessary, but I don’t believe for a moment that men and women are equal beings, because if anything is obvious, it is that we are inequal—unable to fulfil ourselves without the other. We are complementary; that is, not equal, but also neither superior or inferior to the other. No matter how superior I may appear in a sexist world, I cannot be complete without my woman and neither she, I.

If you want to understand why we are incomplete as genders just look back to the garden of Eden: God created the animals both male and female, but he only created one human, Adam. Why would that be? Why didn’t he create Adam and Eve together, at the same time? It wasn’t just a matter of God plonking down two humans and they would have to learn to love each other—like it or not—but that out of love, Jehovah observed Adam develop as a person and crafted for him a mate that perfectly complemented him (As a side note, this is also interestingly indicative that God chose not to know the outcome of his creation beforehand).

It is in this way that I know it is only by divine intervention (and his continued intervention in our lives) that out of the billions on earth, two such perfectly compatible people could meet. I could never by any effort or cleverness on my part have known who she would be to me when we live in a world so morbidly obsessing over false image and self-denial that we would have both picked somebody else if the choice were left up to us.

My goal in life hasn’t ever changed, not before I met her and not after. I knew from early on what I had to do, what I must do, but for so long I wasn’t working toward that goal, merely distracting myself from it. Had I had other goals, I think it would have been evident by now; I have chased after neither career, nor fame.

What does this mean to you dear readers? Probably nothing, but that I blog for myself and not others. I am not preaching anything to you, just asserting for myself what it is I feel. You readers have had the ability to see change happening in me in a way I have not; through these pages. I just write, how this blog all strings together in your eyes I don’t know. I hope whatever you have seen has pleased you.

Right now I will be spending time with my new wife, structuring our life in a harmonious way. I won’t stop hacking though, don’t worry; this is just a new chapter in my life.